This Space Between Us
by Ceasefire
Summary: Togainu no Chi fic. 50 moments shared between Akira and Rin. Predominantly set after the end of Rin's game storyline, but also involves some pre-game and mid-game themes.


Written unofficially for 1sentence on LJ, theme set Alpha. Warning for sex, violence, angst and spoilers.

Also, my character bias: let me show you it.

Togainu no Chi is the property of Nitro Chiral.****

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Comfort  
Rin knew that his chances of finding Akira again were minimal, knew that the chances of his leg not recovering from the severe wounds inflicted upon it were high; still, he strived to recover and start his search, the thought of reuniting with Akira and presenting him with his brother's broken katana acting as his main source of comfort.

**Kiss**  
Rin's first kiss with Akira was nothing like his first kiss with Kazui; Kazui had been warm and gentle, so careful and slow that Rin's heart had ached dully in his chest when it ended, whereas Akira was more forceful, not warm but not cold, less careful but equally slow, and Rin still wasn't sure which he prefered.

**Soft**  
The mattress on Akira's bed seemed ridiculously soft after sleeping in hospitals, hostels and anywhere flat, sheltered and safe for five years, and Rin thanked him, not quite brave enough disagree when Akira walked to the door and said he'd sleep on the couch.

**Pain**  
The pain of losing both a lover and a brother in one day was something Rin never thought he'd have to live through twice.

**Potatoes**  
One of the first things that Rin had eaten after escaping Toshima was mashed potatoes, served unceremoniously on a stainless steel hospital tray; nothing had ever tasted so satisfying to him after months of eating solids.

**Rain**  
Rin fell to his knees, watched Shiki's blood wash away in the rain, and picked up the battered hilt of his brother's weapon: he finally felt he could move on.

**Chocolate**  
Rin had been more than amused to find out that Akira had a sweet tooth, and he delighted in watching him eat every last crumb of the chocolate cake he'd bought on the way home from his latest job.

**Happiness**  
When Akira bothered to tell Motomi that Rin had shown up alive and well, the older man arrived at their door thirty minutes later, grinning broadly; sitting around Akira's cramped kitchen table with Motomi grinning from ear to ear and Akira occasionally letting small smiles slip, Rin felt the happiest he'd felt in a long time.

**Telephone**  
The first thing person Rin thought about, when asked at the hospital if he had any friends or relatives they could contact, was Akira, but he soon realised it was hopeless; he didn't know where he was, didn't know his phone number, didn't even know his full name, and all he could hope was that their paths would cross again by chance.

**Ears**  
Rin realised he was trying too hard to see the similarities between Kazui and Akira the day he started comparing ridiculous things, like their ears.

**Name**  
"Do you even have a full name?" Rin asked, after he explained to Akira how hard it had been to track him down; Akira shrugged, and Rin resigned himself to the fact that Akira was practically an emotionless lump.

**Sensual**  
Akira wasn't a particularly passionate person, but the way his hands ran along the length of Rin's sides and held Rin above him as they fucked had a bizarre, intimate sensuality all of its own.

**Death**  
Rin had become accustomed to death at a young age; after their parents died, Shiki became his sole caretaker and Shiki's reputation for killing preceded him, but Rin had never expected that his own brother would turn his blade on Kazui for no reason, and that was one of the things that made Kazui's death hurt the most.

**Sex**  
After Kazui, Rin had sworn that he'd never love another while his brother was still breathing, more for the other's sake than his own; however, doing this with Akira felt inexplicably _right_, and Rin was more than happy to submit, and knowing that he might not live to see Akira again made the decision a lot easier.

**Touch**  
It took a while for Akira to stop flinching when Rin touched him, no matter how slight; Rin would sigh, and realise just how much Toshima and the Igura contest and the five years apart had changed both of them.

**Weakness**  
Rin stood over his brother, katana in hand, and for a moment he hesitated; the thoughts of Kazui and of Akira running through his mind were enough to harden his resolve, and both brothers shut their eyes as the blade hit its mark.

**Tears**  
Akira was the first person to ever try and truly reach out to Rin after Kazui's death, and it left Rin feeling naked, trembling and clawing at his own tear-streaked face as he fought with his own emotions.

**Speed**  
"When did you take this?" Akira asked, holding out a photo of himself that he'd found in Rin's makeshift studio; Rin snatched the picture away from his grasp, stuck out his tongue and managed to dart into Akira's bedroom and lock the door before Akira could catch him.

**Wind**  
As he walked away from his dying brother, Rin shivered at the way the wind carried the smell of his blood down the road to him, as if Shiki was still haunting him even in death.

**Freedom**  
It took a while for Rin to get accustomed to the strange new freedom that came with living with Akira, but he counted it as the greatest blessing he'd ever had bestowed upon him.

**Life**  
Secretly, Rin thought of Kazui and of Shiki constantly, and his main concern was always that Akira would leave him, just as Kazui had and just as Shiki had chosen to do.

**Jealousy**  
If Akira ever felt jealous when Rin spoke of Kazui he never showed it, and Rin was grateful that Akira was able to at least act as if he understood the pain of losing a lover.

**Hands**  
Akira's hands were large and warm, a steadying weight against the back of Rin's neck as he dried the last of his tears and began to kiss Akira in return.

**Taste**  
Akira often went away for his work, and when he returned Rin often made a show of kissing him at the airport -- regardless of who was watching -- while Akira still tasted like plain black coffee and cheap airline food; the taste was familiar, even if Akira sometimes seemed entirely different.

**Devotion**  
During Igura, Akira had devoted himself to breaking down Rin's defenses and working his way into his trust; now, five years later, Rin found himself returning the favour, trying to fix the five years of no contact hanging between their every word.

**Forever**  
To say that their relationship would last forever was risky, and Rin knew it better than most because six years ago he'd been saying the same thing to Kazui; still, Rin didn't mind the thought of staying with Akira indefinitely, and Akira didn't disagree when he waxed poetic about it in the afterglow.

**Blood**  
The sickening, metallic smell of blood had been rampant in Toshima during Igura, but the smell of it still shocked Rin, sending him unwillingly back to when he had found Kazui, dismembered in the bed on which they had first kissed.

**Sickness**  
Rin became violently ill just a few days after he and Akira reunited, a combination of exhaustion and old injuries catching up with him; Akira seemed unsure of what to do, but the strong, not-entirely-legal-without-prescription painkillers he retrieved from nowhere were appreciated nonetheless.

**Melody**  
At first, Rin had been embarrassed when Akira had caught him singing as he developed his photographs, but when Akira had asked him to sing the song again he agreed, and forgot that it was Kazui who taught him the song when he saw Akira's small smile.

**Star**  
Sometimes they would go to the roof of Akira's apartment block at night to look at the stars, just as they had in Toshima.

**Home**  
Akira's apartment finally felt like home to Rin when Akira welcomed him back for the first time, after a long day of trying to find work.

**Confusion**  
Akira's emotional numbness took a bit of getting used to, but once Rin managed to figure the subtle differences in Akira's emotions, the other man wasn't nearly as confusing as he initially appeared to be.

**Fear**  
Akira didn't seem to be afraid of anything, and it made Rin feel worse when he woke up screaming, dreams of Shiki's hands tight around his throat still fresh in his mind.

**Lighting/Thunder**  
It rarely stormed in Toshima; it was almost as if the whole world was holding its breath, waiting for something to happen, and Rin thought it appropriate that it began to rain on the day that he faced Shiki and left Akira behind.

**Bonds**  
Rin and Akira were bound by more than their strange relationship; they were bound by their experiences in Toshima, the blood they had both spilled, and the mutual relief they felt for surviving to see what the world was like after Igura was over.

**Market**  
Rin made a habit of going to a small market near Akira's apartment every week to buy fruit and vegetables; although fresh produce was still expensive because of the civil war, the thought of eating another solid almost made Rin gag.

**Technology**  
"What's that?" Rin asked, pointing at the transmitter attached to Akira's waist; he quickly hid it under his jacket and wondered why the hell Ema and Gwen needed to keep tabs on him anyway.

**Gift**  
"It's not a problem," Akira said, and Rin took the bandages that were awkwardly offered to him with a raised brow, and began to redress his bad leg.

**Smile**  
Akira had to admit that he had no idea how the hell Rin could _smile_ like he did after all that had happened in Toshima, but at the same time he realised that this smile was different to the one he wore during Igura, and that was enough to make him leave the matter alone.

**Innocence**  
"Don't worry about it," Rin smirked as he watched Akira over his shoulder as he refastened his pants, "You weren't the one who took it in the first place."

**Completion**  
Rin finding him was like the final piece of the puzzle falling into place for him, Akira would think years later, even if it took years for him to admit it to himself; it took even longer for him to admit it to Rin, and the only response he got was soft laughter and an amused kiss to the forehead.

**Clouds**  
Rin often looked for shapes in the clouds as he walked around Toshima, just for his own amusement, but all he ever saw was a flat, matte grey that never changed.

**Sky**  
Rin still looked up at the sky when he walked around his new hometown, but sky always seemed cloudless, perfectly clear, and having Akira next to him was enough to make him give up on his old hobby and look toward the horizon as the sun set.

**Heaven**  
Rin liked to think that Kazui was in a better place now, liked to think that Kazui was happy that he didn't have to see him like this, liked to think Kazui smiled when he saw what the world still had in store for Rin.

**Hell**  
Rin hated to think that his brother was burning in endless fire for the pain he'd felt and caused in life, hated to think about Shiki's final words, "_Hell will welcome me_", hated himself for still pitying Shiki after all he'd done.

**Sun**  
Rin was the sun to Akira; always bright, always golden, keeping him warm in an otherwise cold world, penetrating every dark shadow in his life and making them disappear while leaving nothing but happiness in his wake.

**Moon**  
Akira was the moon to Rin; pale and mysterious, always just out of reach, keeping him company throughout the coldest of night nonetheless, and reflecting his own warmth whenever he needed to be reminded of what happiness was.

**Waves**  
The beach near Akira's apartment was hardly welcoming; it was all grey stone and murky waves, but Rin still liked walking there, feeling the water between his toes and feeling the sun on his skin, and the atmosphere always left him feeling calm.

**Hair**  
Rin began growing his hair out long when he realised his current style was too similar to the one Shiki had had before he died, and the moment Akira complimented him on it was the moment he decided to leave it exactly as it was.

**Supernova**  
The moment Akira was inside him, thousands of tiny stars exploded across his vision, and he clung to Akira like a lifeline; after five long years he finally felt safe, and that was something he never wanted to let go of again.

**END**


End file.
